Looking Sad At My Bento
by raisinbrandy
Summary: She drew in a deep breath and gulped down all her fear and doubt. "Rin!" Shiemi shouted. For the first time, she was five feet, four inches of courage. "Rin, why did you say you weren't my friend?"


**Title: **Looking Sad at my Bento

**Summary: **She drew in a deep breath and gulped down all her fear and doubt. "Rin!" Shiemi shouted. For the first time, she was five feet, four inches of courage. "Rin, why did you say you weren't my friend?"

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Blue Exorcist. If I did, I would be rich, famous, and Asian.

_ Why would he say that?_

_ Why would he say we're not friends?_

_ I never asked him to be my friend._

_ I was going to, but then..._

Thoughts like these have been haunting poor Shiemi Moriyama since that day. She and Rin Okumura were left alone at their school's fountain. They had been casually talking, and Shiemi thought they were getting along quite well. She had known him for a while by then, always enjoying their little chats. He was a pretty nice boy, and she liked him. So, she decided to take a chance that day—to ask Rin to be her friend. She was so close, but then that thick-skulled boy, Ryuji Suguro, showed up and ruined everything.

Even worse, Suguro began to tease Rin and Shiemi about being a couple, then friends. And that's when it happened. That's when Rin said the most hurtful words he could've ever said about Shiemi.

"She's not a friend."

Who knew four words could crush a girl? Four simple words used in everyday language. But those four simple words arranged in such an order and coming from Rin Okumura's lips nearly destroyed little Shiemi.

She had put too much hope into him. He let her, though. And then he let her down.

Shiemi had been shyer since that day. Quieter. She was alone, tortured by her confused, muddled thoughts. However, nobody had taken much notice. She had always been a shy, quiet, lonely girl, and her just being more so didn't exactly spark any interest.

That was perfectly fine with her, though. She had never been one to easily share much of her feelings.

However, soon enough, someone caught on. Someone saw how she was nonchalantly avoiding looking in his direction during class and how her smile hadn't been as apparent. So, when lessons broke for lunch, Rin Okumura decided to ask Shiemi about her unusual mood in the very same place he caused it: the fountain.

"Oi! Sheimi!" he called as he jogged up to her. Her head had been hanging down, staring sadly at her bento. But at the sharp sound of Rin's voice, it snapped up, startled. Eyes wide and nervous, Shiemi noticed his presence and then immediately drooped back to her hunched position.

"Hello, Rin," she nearly whispered into her lunch.

"Uh, hey." Rin stood awkwardly erect in front of the girl. Now what? He hadn't exactly thought all of this through. He got as far as to talking with her...kind of. But what was he supposed to say next? How was he supposed to ask why she suddenly seemed upset all the time?

He found himself just staring at her, and she could feel his unmoving eyes. Shiemi quickly glanced up and the two made brief eye contact before Rin shot his eyes to his feet, his face flushing from embarrassment.

Sometimes it was hard for him to look at such a perfect shade of green.

Their silence made Rin uncomfortable, and he knew he had to say something—_anything_—to break it.

_Just ask her_, he thought. _Just open your mouth and form words_.

"Shiemi," he began anxiously. He suddenly snapped his head up looking more determined than ever. "Shiemi is, uh, is something wrong?"

The petite blonde played with the edge of the plastic box that held her sushi as she quietly responded, "No. I'm fine."

For some reason, Rin wasn't so convinced. "You sure?"

_No._

"Yes."

Still, Rin didn't leave. He could tell something had been bothering her and her distant replies only confirmed his suspicions. He wasn't sure how to get her to talk, though. He had never been very good at this kind of thing.

_I could just tell him_, Shiemi thought. _I could just tell him how I feel, but—_

She immediately pushed the idea from her mind. No, she couldn't say anything to Rin. If she did, then he would never want to be friends with her.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Rin hadn't gone away yet, and he didn't look too satisfied with the answers she had given him.

"Rin," she said a bit more brightly this time. She lifted her head with a beaming smile on her face. "Don't worry about me, Rin! I'm really fine! I've just been a bit tired from gardening a lot! But, I'm fine!"

She looked like the usual Shiemi, and she sounded like the usual Shiemi, but Rin knew it wasn't the usual Shiemi. He decided, however, that he wasn't going to get anything out of her today and it was probably best if he left her alone for now.

"Well, uh, okay. If you say so," he said. "I guess I'll you see you later then."

Shiemi watched longingly as he turned around and started to walk away, feeling worse than ever. She missed it. She had an opportunity to tell Rin, confess to him how awful he made her feel, and she completely missed it. And if their future conversations were going to be as quick and awkward as the one they just had, she knew they would never be friends.

Why was she so shy? Why couldn't she just speak out with no fear? What was she so afraid of anyway? Whatever the consequences were to being honest couldn't possibly be worse than walking around with a bottle full of emotions ready to explode.

She noticed Rin hadn't walked too far away yet; he was still in earshot. Maybe if she yelled...

No.

Wait.

_What am I thinking?_

What would happen if she told him how his words impacted her? Would he get angry? She couldn't be exactly sure how he would react. And it's not like what he said was a big deal, right? He didn't consider them friends. So what?

Shiemi frowned. The "so what" was that he hurt her feelings and he should know he can't treat people that way. He can't constantly be friendly with a girl and then announce that she's not his friend. Shiemi may be totally introverted, but she knew enough to realize that wasn't how friendship was supposed to work. At least, that's how it shouldn't.

Suddenly, she didn't care if she ever became friends with Rin Okumura. All that mattered in that moment was her finally being brave enough to stick up for herself.

Shiemi drew in a deep breath and gulped down all her fear and doubt. "Rin!" she shouted. For the first time, she was five feet, four inches of courage. "Rin, why did you say you weren't my friend?"

Rin half-turned, confused by the sudden urgency in her voice. "Huh?"

Shiemi just remained in her position on the fountain: sitting and scowling. Rin quickly ran up to her wondering what she could possibly mean.

"Uh, Shiemi—?"

"A few days ago," she fiercely cut him off, "you and I were sitting at this very fountain and you told Saguro-san that you weren't my friend. Why did you say that?"

"Shiemi, I—"

"I mean, we have been getting along nicely. At least I thought we were. And I thought if you were friendly to another person, then you and that person could be friends."

"Listen, Shie—"

"And I want to be friends with you, Rin. I would just like to know why you don't want to be friends with me."

"Okay."

"Also—what?"

Shiemi looked up at Rin with gentle, but bewildered emerald eyes. He met her gaze with a smile.

"Okay," Rin repeated kindly. "We can be friends."

Shiemi could do nothing but gape in awe at the boy towering over her.

Rin took a seat next to her. "I'm sorry I said that, Shiemi. Bon was just making me really mad and I didn't want him to think I came here just for you. I wanted him to take me seriously. But, um." He blushed, suddenly shyer again. "I _do_ want to be friends with you, Shiemi. Really."

He presented his hand as sort of an offering for a friendship pact. He only expected his new blonde buddy to shake it and that would be it. Friends for life. Done.

But that's not how the usual Shiemi would react.

Instead, she grabbed his handshake with both her hands and held it tightly to her chest. She gazed at Rin's now flushing cheeks with wide, happy eyes.

"Oh, Rin!" she cheered. "I'm so very happy that we're friends now! I promise I'll be the best friend I can be!"

Rin smiled sheepishly and released a small, lighthearted laugh. "Me, too, Shiemi. I promise, too."


End file.
